God damn that was tasty!
Had a little treat to celebrate my new job working as junior lifestyle photographer at the Evening Argus, got myself a cute little puppy and cooked it up for dinner! I skinned, gutted and filleted it myself. Don’t ever let an English butcher near your prize meat, he’ll rape it in the face and you’ll lose all the best meat. In any case, there’s something so fucking horny about slicing a puppy and pulling its skin off, it really whets your appetite!
So, how to cook your puppy…? There are various traditional methods, including stir-frying it with ginger, chillis, powdered tiger bollocks and four dozen giant squid eggs, but you really can’t get the ingredients over here, not on my salary. Deep frying is a regional delicacy, but personally I think your fryer is really only for cooking guinea pig.
I went for the simplest option - after marinading it overnight, rub it with some sesame oil, and some cracked black pepper, then put it on the griddle for 8 minutes each side. Serve immediately with a sprig of parsley, some hot buttered new potatoes, a tub of coleslaw and a good bottle of Shiraz. Lip-smackingly good stuff!
As an aside, loupiote has an excellent step-by-step guide to dog preparation, I really can’t recommend it enough!
January 10th, 2006 at 8:11 pm
IT AM FLUFFEH TIEM
January 19th, 2006 at 12:48 pm
[…] How to cook a dog and other fine British cuisine. Gerbil Excercise and stackable rats/ […]
January 27th, 2006 at 2:50 am
Pathetic attempt at attention whoring, DENIED
May 6th, 2006 at 12:29 pm
[…] Within the hour, I’d served up two of my world-famous recipes, the Prince wolfed them down with relish and demanded to see the chef. He told me that he had never tasted dog so good, that my culinary flair was truly the greatest he had encountered and that I was to be installed as his personal chef at the palace! […]
July 27th, 2006 at 1:25 am
r u serious! u cook dogs! omg that is like so illegal!! im definately calling the police and reporting u
March 10th, 2007 at 6:07 am
ot recipies fro dog penis testicles etc
May 28th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
good for you.americans are two faced dicks.they dont mind eating pigs(far more intelligent than dogs).r
August 25th, 2007 at 9:36 pm
September 21st, 2007 at 11:19 pm
r u serious or are u just joking
March 20th, 2008 at 12:34 am
am serious want recipes for dog peni dog testicles etc including fratata and how to cut of while its stil alive
March 20th, 2008 at 12:56 am
cock fratata
April 12th, 2008 at 1:28 am
I hate when people are so fake and make everything into a joke. Show a little realite, because none of us are buying it, bitch.
April 13th, 2008 at 5:00 am
why so mean?
:(
May 11th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
please e me some recipies for doggenitals penis testicles cunt etc tthanks
September 21st, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Do you have any low budget recipes for people on a low income?? all ideas welcome