Under surveillance
Fuck knows what I’ve done, but my activities have certainly alerted the secret services of something. I’m pretty sure that someone’s been going through my flat, for one - my knicker drawer looks like a bomb hit it and I can’t find the fucking remote for the stereo anywhere.
My suspicions were confirmed this afternoon. There I was, in my Marigolds, up to the elbow in soap suds and dog fat, when I heard a peculiar noise from outside. I opened the window, had a peek around and there they were, bold as brass, four of MI5’s most covert operatives spying on me!
I hate cunts with a persecution complex, but this isn’t paranoia, it’s real life. And it’s NO FUCKING JOKE. If this keeps up, I’m defecting to Poland.
January 27th, 2006 at 9:06 pm
It’s not the operatives that you can see you need to be nervous about, Corin! Keep safe!
January 30th, 2006 at 3:05 am
son of a bitch … one of these operatives ran out in front of me on the way home today! The twunts are on to me!
January 30th, 2006 at 6:37 pm
That’s actually only one, multi-headed operative, they’ve made marvellous leaps in genetic technology these days you know. The one at the back shoots lasers from its eyes; the one at the front wees milk into your tea for you.
January 30th, 2006 at 10:50 pm
Thank you Dotmund, your support in these trying times is touching.
Beebo, you need to get yourself into a safer neighbourhood!
You sound like you know too much, Amerella… I believe you to be a secret agent yourself.
May 1st, 2006 at 9:07 am
[…] Over the last few months, I’ve been a good girl and haven’t been doing anything to attract the attention of the authorities. But it seems that, my beloved Nuggets Mahoney and myself have caused something of a stir with our new Flickr group, FlickrCentral (Uncensored). It was either the behaviour of some of our esteemed members that did it, or maybe it was the revelation of our love affair to an unsuspecting society, but those cunts from MI5 are outside my house, AGAIN. […]