A girl needs protection
After recently hitting the headlines with number one in interestingness getting the second most interesting photo tagged with “dog”, and having the fucking security services on my sweet little back, I’ve found myself beset with correspondence and attention of an altogether unseemly manner.
It might cost a year’s worth of sexual favours to keep a body such as mine safe, but these cunts are worth it. They can rip a man’s eyes out with their ears and are dead charming to boot. I’ve yet to enforce staff showers, but that won’t be long in coming.
