Judging the 2006 Pole Idol competition
An annual gala event, the Pole Idol competition, in Brighton, is open to any member of the public who wishes brave ridicule, in an attempt to seduce the notoriously picky panel of judges with their pole-dancing skills. And it seems that at least some people in this town respect my opinion, as I was asked to chair the panel and have the casting vote!
The organisers told me that, in recent years, the competition had got a little too sleazy, with old men in macs wanking over the contestants. This year they decided they needed a female to take the judges in hand and ensure things went off with a more wholesome feel. They couldn’t have asked a more suitable person!
Pole idol rejects: ugly cunts
I was utterly impartial in my judging, it was merely coincidence that all the girls were so shit at it they got chucked out in the first round. As were the fat men, the old men and the ugly men.
After a few more rounds of whittling down the remaining gorgeous young contestants from 100 to 11, I was stumped - I’d grown so close to the boys since the start of the competition, how could I say any one of them was the best?
So I decided to screw the rules of the competition and declared them all to be winners! Their prize? They each win a date with their beloved shhexycorin, with the explicit promise of some dancing round their own poles.
I am one lucky girl!
The winners - Couldn’t you just eat them all up? I did.
February 19th, 2006 at 8:25 pm
Hm. What is this… Brokeback Eton?
February 19th, 2006 at 8:37 pm
They’re my boys penpusher! Every last one of them.
February 19th, 2006 at 9:31 pm
Those lucky sods.
February 19th, 2006 at 9:51 pm
just enter next year’s competition, you might make it through!
February 20th, 2006 at 11:12 am
ooh, can I try too? I’ve been working on some new moves, you see…
February 20th, 2006 at 1:53 pm
I can’t wait to see them, I bet you have a natty costume too.
February 20th, 2006 at 6:20 pm
You don’t know the half of it. I do all of Johnny Weir’s work.
February 21st, 2006 at 6:52 pm
God… you’re everything a man should be.
February 22nd, 2006 at 9:17 am
I’m having a sudden crisis of confidence as I’m not sure I can quite rival the guy on the right with the tie on…
February 22nd, 2006 at 12:45 pm
he is my personal favourite…
February 22nd, 2006 at 6:09 pm
have you seen his friend’s website?
February 24th, 2006 at 11:59 am
(the best bit about that site is when the ladygangster gets involved)
February 25th, 2006 at 2:40 pm
bah… that site seems to not be working
:(
February 26th, 2006 at 7:45 pm
apparently it was just SO GOOD that they had to close it. perhaps this will help make up for it…
February 26th, 2006 at 11:15 pm
I really shouldn’t be watching that before I go to bed… I’ll never sleep!
April 27th, 2006 at 11:42 am
is the pole idol comp a once a year comp or is it every couple of weeks. if so then y the big deal?
April 27th, 2006 at 11:44 am
wot is the BIGGEST pole competition to go for?
April 27th, 2006 at 7:03 pm
It’s once a year, I was privileged to be asked!
This one is pretty big, I don’t know what the biggest is though, sorry
:)