Mass-produced Pork Soup and the perils of lying about what you had for your dinner
Shhexycorin’s Pork Soup recipe has been a worldwide success since it hit the internet back in November. Now some cunts have stolen the recipe and made their own tinned version. You can see for yourself how disgracefully they are interpreting my creation!
The pigs they use are about twenty times older than the maximum recommended age for Pork Soup and the meat:stock ratio is about 1% of what it should be. Don’t get me started on the hygiene aspect of preparing soup like this… I’m all for a hands-on approach to cooking, but wading around in it is a step TOO FAR.
Dirty pikey cunts making Pork Soup the wrong way. They will pay.
Now the very worst of this is that people are serving this tinned crap at dinner parties and claiming that it’s a Shhexycorin Original! Their guests assume that the decomposing pile of vomit in front of them is actually how it’s supposed to be cooked and, when they get the squits the next day, my good name goes down even further.
Butch Kev, not gay.
If I find out that you’ve lied to your dinner guests about Pork Soup, I will spang you in the face with a very pointy shovel. Or I’ll send my mate Kev round to cleave you in two with his Axe of Pain. He’s dead butch, so you’ll probably shit your pants when he comes knocking at your door and die in a puddle of your own faeces. Ask yourself, is it really worth it?
You have been warned: DON’T EAT SHITTY PROCESSED FOOD AND DO NOT LIE ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE HAVING FOR YOUR DINNER.
February 20th, 2006 at 9:05 am
For someone who likes pink so much…you sure are evil, sexy evil. And by the pics of these guys, i’m thinking they’re about to make Human Soup, they look like the cast of The Hills have Eyes… :o
February 20th, 2006 at 1:53 pm
You know how to flatter a girl… I’m swooning as I type this.
February 20th, 2006 at 6:18 pm
Or Deliverance…
I don’t think we got much of a boar here, looks more like a sow to me..
Squeal little piggy
February 20th, 2006 at 6:45 pm
How are you on the banjo?
February 21st, 2006 at 6:36 pm
good if you don’t mind me squinting while i play…
February 21st, 2006 at 6:52 pm
The “crimping one off” look? Shhexy!
February 21st, 2006 at 8:36 pm
you ain’t seen the half of it, shhista! (and i mean that in the redneck family sense)
February 21st, 2006 at 11:11 pm
thanks shhexy, I try, I read, “How to Flatter Girl’s Over the Internet that You’ll Never Meet.” btw, are you losing weight? ;D
February 22nd, 2006 at 7:33 am
Pork Tartar Soup! That’ll get ‘em, ev’ry time!
“Down And Snout” The fine line of canned soups you’ll want to eat more than once… but you won’t be able!
Coming soon, Avian Bird’s Nest Flew Flavor! Tastes just like chicken!
February 22nd, 2006 at 9:20 am
Ooh, good idea penpusher: “You’ll be like a pig in shit when you experience the great canned taste of Momma’s Pork Special Tartar Soup…”
February 22nd, 2006 at 12:47 pm
hafaball - I just have a very sturdy girdle!
Penpusher and Jack… are you looking for work? I need a few people to work on my shameless whoring.
February 22nd, 2006 at 6:08 pm
naaah, i gots too much shit of mine own to be giddying along with.
is there a dental plan?
February 22nd, 2006 at 6:41 pm
Um… I have a mallet?
February 22nd, 2006 at 11:06 pm
I just take what’s there and run with it. Call me an idea shoplifter!
But if I started working in the Corin Sweatshoppe, I’d have to learn to spell words like “flavor” with an o-u-r, and I might be too remedial to do that in every instance.
February 23rd, 2006 at 12:30 am
Heavens… and I thought so much of you, penpusher.
;)