♥ shhexycorin ♥

Doling out the Rohypnol

Seeing as they wouldn’t let me into the San Francisco bash, I decided I had better throw a little party of my own to celebrate 2 years of the wonder that is Flickr. I invited all my Flickr chums along, nearly all of them dropped everything to come to the party of the year!

Mary about to chug Rohypnol

My sister Mary even flew over with her gang of mates - she wouldn’t miss a good gangbang for the world - and she brought with her some high-grade Rohypnol that you only get out in Asia.

One of my patrons very kindly provided as much booze as we could neck, a free bar really is all you need to get a party swinging… Even some gatecrashers couldn’t ruin this night and within an hour or so, everyone stripped off and started to get busy. We’d shipped over a shiteload of prossies from Berlin, but, to be honest, we didn’t need them - everyone turned into a whore before long, so keen were they to show their love for Flickr!

I’m about to get lucky!

Expect the patter of many tiny Flickr-baby feet very soon, though we’ll have no idea who the fathers or mothers are, I feel this is another perfect example of the Flickr community spirit! Not to mention the several XXX DVDs that will be released off the back of this party, if you were there, expect a fat royalty cheque!

If you didn’t come this time, you better had next year or there’ll be trouble.

About to eat the baby’s ear

You should look no further than this picture of a rabid hound of death ripping a month-old baby to shreds. The cunt just went for it, ripping the hair off in one clean bite, then proceeding to eat the baby’s face, stopping only to dip its tongue in some celery salt (I assume this dog thought it was some sort of connoisseur).

Now, I’m, sure this absolutely disgusts you, but this whole affair leaves me in something of a moral quandry, I mean I can’t stand dogs but babies make me want to do stabby things to them… Of course the perfect shholution is that the mutt can dispose of the kid and then I can get away with slaughtering the dog for dinner with society’s blessing. Result!

I cooked this one using the excellent The George Foreman Lean, Mean Dog-Grilling Machine™, but spiced it up a little it with a badger spleen and rhubarb leaf stuffing. It was lip-smackingly tasty.

As an afterthought - do you see what a terrible fashion taste dogs have? I wouldn’t even let my uncle with Down’s Syndrome wear something so retarded.

And it felt fucking great!

The weasel-voiced twat-merchant pushed me too far with his pitiful tripe and emetic dirges. To make matters worse, he popped round to my house, to sing me his “shhexycorin tribute song”. What a pile of shit.

He looked like he was wanking off a rhino as he sang, his piercing voice burst my eardrums and gave one of my hamsters an epileptic fit. That was it, the straw that broke poor Corin’s back!

I shot him twelve times in the face with my Luger, the hamsters disposed of his carcass in a matter of minutes.

So that’s one less whiny cunt for the world to deal with. Just let that be a lesson to you.

James Blunt wanking off a rhino

At the age of 14, my oldest friend told me she was a lezzer. Apparently she’d fancied me since we were both in the first year of infant school, but she’d never dared say anything as I was way out of her league. It’s true, but I probably would have let her have a go out of sympathy and admiration for her excellent taste in women.

Anyway, since that time she’s somehow managed to move on and found herself a girlfriend. They came to visit last weekend, what a night we had! They stole the show singing “Don’t Let Your Son Go Down On Me” at the tranny karaoke and then did a little poledance round the gangly geek in the corner. When we got back to mine, things got a little inappropriate and they ate each other out in the kitchen. No wonder they’re so fucking fat.

Preparing for a heavy session of clam lapping.

Former President of South Africa, living legend and dirty fucking criminal, Nelson Mandela came to Brighton to pay me a personal visit and show his support for me during this time of persecution.

He told me that what he went through all those years ago was like a holiday in Tenerife in comparison to the hell I’m being subjected to. If he made it to President, I’ll probably make it to fucking Grand High Vizier of Europe or something!

He offered me any help he could possibly give, including calling his mate Kofi and going round to San Francisco to “beat the living shit out of those prissy cunts”. I think he was just trying to get me into bed though.

He didn’t stand a chance, I don’t do crusty old man sex. And besides, Winnie probably gave him the clap.

Nelson Mandela enjoys a cup of PG Tips and some custard creams

Seems people really are as stupid as we always suspected. My innocent little photo was deleted by Flickr staff after they ‘received numerous complaints regarding your “Back Street Abortion” photo’. What cunts. Admittedly, I should maybe have clicked the “May Offend” button.

Having said that, I really can’t understand the fuss over this. Those girls knew what they were getting, no-one went into it with their eyes closed. It’s life, it’s going on in your towns and your daughter’s probably going to have one in the not-so-distant future.

update: much worse than back-street abortion is fancy dress, BAN THIS SICK FILTH.

“Another under-cover scoop from yours truly. This is going on every night round the corner from my house. Young girls from Mouslecoomb and Whitehawk are coming into town and having their babies torn out of them by men with coathangers.

Good luck to ‘em, I say, fewer pikey cunts in this town the better.”

After recently hitting the headlines with number one in interestingness getting the second most interesting photo tagged with “dog”, and having the fucking security services on my sweet little back, I’ve found myself beset with correspondence and attention of an altogether unseemly manner.

It might cost a year’s worth of sexual favours to keep a body such as mine safe, but these cunts are worth it. They can rip a man’s eyes out with their ears and are dead charming to boot. I’ve yet to enforce staff showers, but that won’t be long in coming.