Rape Advice
My mate, Dr Christopher Boueix, got his wrist broken when some drunken twat tried to beat him up. He’s getting between £1,000 to £4,000 compensation from the Victims of Violent Crime slush fund. Not bad going for a night on the town.
Chris was saying that you get compo for any violent crime, as long as you can prove that it has significantly injured you in some way. It is much harder to do this if the damage is merely psychological. Rape will, as often as not, fall into this category.
So, if you find yourself at the wrong end of a rapist, my advice to you is this: ask him nicely to make sure he gives you a broken bone or two - your nose, your ears, some ribs - anything really. If you’re very lucky, you’ll get a particularly well-endowed rapist who’ll break your pelvis in the natural course of things!
Just something to keep in mind.
:)
March 18th, 2006 at 4:24 am
Good tip, Shhexy.
But to get compensation, you also need to prove ‘loss of earnings’. So probably best to tell the police that you’re a whore and that your cunt has been raped out of action for a good month.
I got a proper kicking when I was 16 - broken nose, 2 broken collar bones, 3 broken ribs, fractured jaw, cracked knee cap, 2 broken fingers and a bruised ego. I was just in it for the money really, but the fucktards at the compensation department said three missed Saturday shifts at HMV merited nothing at all.
I might go out gay-bashing in San Francisco tonight - more power to the Pink Pound.
March 18th, 2006 at 10:23 am
Ah, it seems Dr Boueix didn’t inform me of all the facts! I’m not sure he’s a proper doctor anyway.
Ouch, you must have been asking for a kicking like that!
Gays are good for bashing… but you will get more money from them by seducing them and using your powers of extorsion! They’re suckers for a bit of bullying.