Whore-Bashing to be an Olympic sport in London 2012
As you all know, the local whores have been the bane of my life for a while now. Some time last week I cracked, got out my very best nunchaku and went on a mammoth whore-bashing spree. I put about 40 of them in hospital, some of them are comatose and will never leave, others left feet first.
I kicked the fucking whore’s face right off! I’m so hard.
Completely by chance the Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport and Minister for the Olympics, Tessa Jowell was in Kemptown at the time and witnessed the skill and poise with which I polished off those prostitutes.
So impressed was she with me, that she decided that she would make Whore-Bashing the signature sport of the She believes that this exciting new craze will help London 2012 stand out from all the other run-of-the-mill Olympic Games and has demanded that I help her establish this as a world -beating sport.
Result! Who’d have thought that my hobby would one day reach so many people? I’ve just got to make up some rules now… And I’m struggling a bit. So far I have the following:
Rules for Whore-Bashing as an Olympic Sport
1. Kick their fucking faces off.
2. Punch them in the cunt.
3. Smash their skulls in.
3. Do it HARD.
4. Do it until they stop twitching.
I think it’s best to keep it simple, sport’s no fun if the ref’s blowing his whistle the whole time!
Now I just need to persuade Tessa to put Crocodile Wrestling on the menu too, then I might be able to sell some merchandise.
ROCK ON.
April 25th, 2006 at 3:30 pm
I understand one-eyed slattern-killer Peter Sutcliffe’s in training for 2012, and is thrashing Jimmy Saville with his favourite Stanley-knife-on-a-stick as we speak.
April 25th, 2006 at 11:07 pm
Thank god we can depend on you Shhexy!
Finally an event we’re sure to get a medal in. Why aren’t more people as patriotic and selfless as you? It quite brings a tear to the eye.
April 25th, 2006 at 11:09 pm
ha, scaryduck, that cunt has no style. he might kill more, but I do prettier things with their corpses.
Hi Karol, it’s great to see you! I do my best for Queen and country, I just wish we had a King, so I could give it properly.
April 27th, 2006 at 10:17 am
So, Crocodile Wrestling under Tower Bridge on the Thames, Whore Bashing @ the soon to be built King’s Cross Arena and don’t forget that Dog Tongue Grab thing. That might be one for Downing St, perhaps? There will be so many new sports at the London Games, I don’t think a single person will miss the baseball and softball events, except the guys who had theirs removed, which I suppose could be another sport as well… The Olympics are the ultimate testes for every athlete!
May 5th, 2006 at 2:15 pm
I thought an integral part of whore bashing was slicing off their nipples, but you seem to have neglected that part of the sport.
Is this some kind of measure to clean up the sport for TV ? I knew you’d gone commercial
May 5th, 2006 at 6:00 pm
It’s not one of the rules, Chalk. Nipple slicing/biting/filing is covered in the “Awarding Points for Style” section.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:21 am
hello .. not sure what this is all about, but i like it.
I just recently kick a drug slut to the curb. she was a whore posing as a nun
April 30th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
Ha your sick and I love it.
Personally when i nail hoes i like to use a projectile weapon on the approach and follow it through with a knuckleduster or something
May 31st, 2007 at 4:25 pm
Are you aware that this page comes up #8 in Google images for [whore]?
Well done you, ma’am.
September 13th, 2007 at 3:53 pm
You are the sickest bunch of no-goods I have read comment from in a long time: you have no compassion for others.
September 15th, 2007 at 12:49 am
thanks! that’s so sweet!
March 7th, 2008 at 1:20 am
Does this all somehow compensate for your micropenis syndrome? Not that your boy friend minds I’m sure.
June 30th, 2008 at 7:36 am
what’s happing with she? it’s do she ’s husband?
July 1st, 2008 at 11:05 am
на английском мы публикуем, а на русском нет.
July 8th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
фотография конечно уникальая. так изуродывать женщину нужно уметь.
July 10th, 2008 at 7:28 am
руки пообрывать таким художникам надо, причем прилюдно, чтобы другим неповадно было.
July 14th, 2008 at 9:24 am
бедная женщина, хотя как я понимаю, пост совевсем не о том.
July 16th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
руки бы оборвать такому художнику.
July 18th, 2008 at 10:23 am
снимок у вас конечно впечатляющий. шоко-фотография.
July 19th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
I am currently in training for the event and have taken the mace as my weapon of choice. It seems to stun them nicely so you can get in quickly with some fancy stanley knife work for style points.
Just one question though, will I get extra points for finishing them of with a deftly prosecuted curb stomp?
July 22nd, 2008 at 12:00 pm
да, реальный удар был. может это пробка от шампанского?
August 25th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Well she did it, she cheated. I still can\’t believe it.
September 18th, 2008 at 3:36 am
Geniuses!