♥ shhexycorin ♥

My Nana’s sisters weren’t as lucky in love as she was. The three of them were seduced, impregnated and abandoned by the same man, all when they were in their early teens. After a couple of home-made abortions, the girls tried to get on with their normal lives, but in those days abortions weren’t quite the fashion accessory they are today. They faced regular stonings at the hands of their fellow villagers and after an attempted rape too far, they decided to run away and join the circus.

They tried their luck as bearded ladies, but ultimately failed due to being sold a dodgy batch of steroids. Dipping their toes into something more glamorous, the sisters developed a naked trapeze act that soon became the circus’s star attraction. Sadly their show proved too shhexy for their audience’s good. A huge rise in the number strokes and heart attacks during their performances forced the sisters into early retirement.

Chronic opium habits soon ate through the sisters’ savings, but desperation has always brought out the best in the Corin family, and the girls had the inspiration to become the world’s first Human Houpla.

World’s First Human Houpla! My shhexy great-aunts.

The premise was simple: if it was vaguely hoop-shaped, you could chuck it at my great-aunts. The cost and prizes varied according to the weight and pointiness of the object being thrown.

The gambling gene runs deep in the homeland and the sheer bravura of the girls’ game won them their fortune. Men couldn’t resist the urge to throw ever more dangerous items at the three beauties in front of them.

The Human Houpla act has been going for over 60 years now, my great-aunts are multi-millionaires and their legions of fans are still flocking to fling metal objects at them. Unfortunately all three of them have suffered massive head trauma over the years, the kindest way to describe them would be “dribbling spackers”. They’re cute as pie though, and have named me as their sole inheritor in their wills! One day, I’m going to be fucking loaded, at which point I’ll buy myself a tropical island and leave you cunts for dust.

Just counting the days…

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 7th, 2006 at 3:05 pm and is filed under shhexycorin's blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.