What do you wank with?
It’s an interesting question… and one that cannot possibly have a definitive answer. There are days when you decide to try something new, but generally speaking we fall to the old reliables, the never fail turn-ons and tools that will get us off to the desired conclusion without too much trouble.
My guaranteed orgasm generators are a kitten (no more than 4 months old) and a box of tissues. I am a big fan of sex toys, but do prefer the natural touch. I won’t go into too many details, but I will present you with two facts and you can work it out for yourselves.
- Kittens under the age of four months don’t have such rough tongues - friction, rather than ripping you raw.
- Kittens like playing with tissues.
All Shhexy needs for a wank is a tissue and a kitten
So my question to you is this? What do you use to wank? A fish? Some geriatric porn? Your Mum’s dirty pants and a cast iron griddle? Do let me know, I’m writing a paper on wanking practices around the world and need YOUR help!
Thank you muchly,
Corin
This survey is conducted by the National Institute of Shhexual Science, all responses will absolutely confidential.
July 19th, 2006 at 11:19 pm
A couple of photos of you does the trick!
July 20th, 2006 at 2:39 am
with your mom’s hand …
July 20th, 2006 at 2:40 am
I am high
July 20th, 2006 at 2:53 am
cunt
July 20th, 2006 at 5:48 am
*giggles incontrollably*
July 20th, 2006 at 9:59 am
My imagination and my hand.
If God hadn’t meant us to wank, he wouldn’t have given us these gifts.
July 20th, 2006 at 7:49 pm
I won’t bother with my details, since I assume this is about new techniques you can try Shhexy. But I will share this tail…
A friend girl recently confessed that she let her ex’s great dane lick her. to do it, she put a small bit of peanut butter on and around the noticible location then sat back, grabbing her ankles and pulling them up to her ears and called the dog over. the results she told me, were far better than good. In fact, she said that she’s now ruined for human tongue, so beware if you try it!
July 24th, 2006 at 7:32 pm
I usually wank with a midget named Juan. First we have a race to see who can come first. I usually win because of my Bruce Lee-like hand speed.
Then we can see how many wanks we can have on the trot. Juan is usually the winner. The boy is insatiable. After three I’m usually curled up in a ball with blood coming out the end and knackers like raisins on two bits of string. After five Juan is still hammering away like a chimp in a zoo.
July 26th, 2006 at 3:53 pm
Only because i am curious of the results, and you shared your kitten tongue story, i feel i should let you into my personal world…and you asked nicely. currently i am using your kitten story, two ballons, some masking tape, and grape jelly…(the lady up there used peanut butter, i wanted to try that, but i was out)
i do so hope this helps you out.
*side note* Hey Dean, crunchy or creamy?
-SiN
July 29th, 2006 at 4:05 am
Hi, SiN…
I do believe creamy was the choice, as the idea was to let the dog lick, not CHEW!!
As I stated, the problem as it was explained to me by the girl who did this, is that the texture, the heavy pressure right where it needs to be, the intense, almost relentless motion across the area, and juicy wetness trail left, the meticulous attention to every last place where the treats were displayed and, perhaps most incredibly, the length of the muscle involved literally ruined the poor girl for anything any human tongue could ever do for her.
I fear she’ll spend the rest of her days down at the local SPCA with a jar of goober smear and a skirt with no panties underneath.
You’ve been forewarned.
July 29th, 2006 at 10:31 pm
Bend over and I’ll show you!
July 31st, 2006 at 7:05 pm
A picture of Ralph Machio and some Valeline. But only when I’m drunk, which is… always. But you knew that.
July 31st, 2006 at 11:09 pm
At last something real good to jerk of with …
http://www.flickr.com/photos/upyerbum/194274843/
August 2nd, 2006 at 11:23 pm
The hand of the ghost: anchylose your hand and then have fun with yourself. It’s like someone else’s hand is doin it to you.
August 6th, 2006 at 3:33 pm
When I jerk off, what makes me have the most intense orgasm is to dress up in my wife clothes, put on some of her sexy high heels, throw on a wig and let myself go. What a trigger.
August 14th, 2006 at 7:32 pm
take your bottoms of n get a bottle cap stuff it up re pussy n den lay down n let the wankin begin
February 22nd, 2007 at 6:53 am
Fill the bath up to your waste so your bell end is popping above the surface and the rest of your shaft is under water. Remove the wings from a fly, a blubottle is good. Place the fly on your bell end. After a few minutes allowing the fly to run around your bell end trying to avoid being drowned, you will come hard and fast. Its fun if your spunk take the fly with it.
February 13th, 2008 at 4:06 am
dribble little olive oil over dick, place dick inside large squid, wank away.
(chopped chillie pepper inside squid optional)
March 21st, 2008 at 8:26 am
hey it iz rubbish send me a email bk pleaze