♥ shhexycorin ♥

Kenny balances a book

All-time fave and bosom buddy, BigVern launched a personal attack against Pig Sty Avenue, after PSA’s glorious attempt to prove that Dave Gorman is a fraud.

Vern has dazzled the scientific community with his literary choice of balancee. And Kenny is such a brave little boy, he suffered an allergic reaction to Vern’s badly packed kebab and died shortly after the picture was taken.

The government is launching a full investigation into Vern’s balancing experiments and promises that this sort of horror will never happen again. Fucking worth it, I say. What’s one whiny cunt of a kid, when you get a shot like this? The Good Name of Photography thanks you, Vern.

Oh yeah, and Dave Gorman eats horse beans. He’s a horse bean eater. He likes to make little patties out of horse beans and serve them in baps with mustard, cheese and ranch sauce.

He matures the fattest horse beans for months on his windowsill, then chews them for their hallucinogenic properties.

Trust me, if Dave Gorman invites you round his house for a fondue party, DON’T GO.

The ongoing campaign to prove that Dave Gorman is a fraud took some exciting steps forward today, firstly, it went international and, for the first time, used LIVE things to do the balancing with!

My mate Arnold has always been a bit of a revolutionary, as a child his mother threw in front of numerous tanks during the Tianamen Square incident. It was only the fact that he’s always been a chubby cunt that saved his shit-stained life. Now he never goes anywhere without a kilo of lard in his back-pocket.

After he read all about Dave Gorman and his shitty balancing act on my blog, he decided to go the extra mile and try balancing his cat Phyllis on his own back. Ingenious! I have rarely seen such poise and skill when it comes to putting things on top of other things!

Arnold is a fucking clever cunt

The only trouble is he’s balanced it so well, now he can’t get the fucking pussy off him again! He’s been like that for a fortnight now, it was only because his cleaner found him trapped there that he managed to get his photo taken. You’d think that would be the reason behind his miserable countenance, but it isn’t.

Arnold is a fucking miserable cunt.

Miraculous piece of modern sculpture

After 5olly’s experiment to prove that Dave Gorman is a fraud, style ninja vork has recently taken on the shyster Gorman, with his daredevil creation, Glass, that has taken the modern art world by storm.

Gorman’s infamous rock balancing shenanigans have been shown to be nothing but a SHAM, as vork has clearly proven that he can balance things, on things that aren’t a rock. Fucking genius! The National Lottery should give him a grant. Or a new dobber.

Dave Gorman thinks he’s so clever, balancing rocks and stuff, like he’s fucking Michelangelo, or something. My mate 5olly gave it a go and this was his first attempt. I think we can safely say that Gorman is a FRAUD.

In other news, one of my pictures managed to make someone piss themselves on the latest flickrcast. It’d be great fucking publicity, if only people listened to the bloody things.